Saturday, August 05, 2006 ::: hmm, i sense a pattern out there... scary and sad
All we shared was a mattress, and a lie and an address Baby I don't need you, well baby I don't need you Once occupied by a goddess, now it's a room full of boxes She said, "it's time to leave you" but baby I don't need you!
In a perfect world... her face would not exist In a perfect world... a broken heart is fixed In a perfect world... I'd see no therapist In a perfect world... this wouldn't make me sick
I never got the whole story, not 'til after she left me Baby I don't need you, well baby I don't need you Word on the street is she fucked him, while we were playing in Cleveland Well baby I don't need you, you're fading in my rearview
In a perfect world... her face would not exist In a perfect world... a broken heart is fixed In a perfect world... I'd see no therapist In a perfect world... this wouldn't make me sick She pulls the trigger until the gun goes click! She pulls the trigger until the gun goes click! In a perfect world... her face would not exist In a perfect world... this wouldn't make me sick!
Control-Alt-Deleted Control-Alt-Deleted Control-Alt-Deleted Reset my memory!
In a perfect world... her face would not exist In a perfect world... a broken heart is fixed In a perfect world... I'd see no therapist In a perfect world... this wouldn't make me sick She pulls the trigger until the gun goes click! She pulls the trigger until the gun goes click! She pulls the trigger until the gun goes click! She pulls the trigger until the gun goes...
it seems like anyone who's been in a relationship has a story like that to tell...
I'm going to leave that music video of The Roots and Erykah Badu on as a stark contrast
ask Sloan and Rihanna for the other side of the story
first off, there have been so many unfortunate events that have occured lately ... i don't want to mention names, out of respect, but there's been accidents where people had to get taken to the hospital, another accident where the prognosis is that of a vegetative state, just this morning i found out one of my parent's friends just died of a heart attack, and a couple of weeks ago a friend of a friend lost her mother to cancer which went undetected until only a few months ago when it was too late to do anything about it
... that's the most bad news i've ever heard at once ... is life usually like this? or is everyone just having a really bad week?
it's weird cuz ... for the last year, i've been burying myself in work and isolating myself ... almost as if i've been trying to avoid human contact for some reason ... and when i finally decide to come out of academia and into the human realm, i'm surprised to be greeted by an overwhelmingly depressing series of bad news
that's why i ask ... is life usually like this, or did i just walk back into life at a bad time?
and on top of all that, i'm still being haunted by my past demons ... well, it's nothing serious compared to everything else that's going on ... but it was a great source of bad energy for me in the past ... and it's come back to haunt me again ... what am i talking about? ... the longing for intimacy
as i've explained it to a friend: i've made a lot of friends recently, only to stop talking to them only a few weeks later ... i've even been starting to feel more distant from the friends that i've known for a long time ... and watching people who were good friends have a (near-)falling out doesn't help neither ... so everything just seems so temporary - as if nothing really lasts
i don't know ... now i'm just rambling about my own petty problems
anyways, if anyone still reads this, i hope you enjoy the video i'm showcasing ... i heard this song a long time ago, but then i forgot about it ... listen to the lyrics, it really got to me when i heard it (a bit too late tho) ... maybe it can get to you too ...
Thursday, June 08, 2006 ::: Research Paper Proposal: Steady, As She Goes: Negative Correlations between the Professional Life and the Personal/Social Life of Single Adults
I think I've finally come up with an idea for my research proposal topic.
So I was running late for class today, and when I got to the bus stop, I met that guy ... err, what's his name - Noor's friend ... and we start talking. He says, "I don't know what it is, but girls in summer school are so hot." To which I respond, "The way I see it, there's probably two explanations for that. (1) Obviously, girls always dress sexier in the summer. (2) The girls in summer school are typically the girls that didn't do so well in regular school. And the good looking girls are typically the girls that don't do so well at school, so they end up going to summer school."
And that's what started me on my research proposal idea. Originally, the idea was to measure the correlation between a girl's attractiveness rating and her G.P.A. The idea was pretty interesting from a methodological point of view: we'd have to sample girls in such a way that we wouldn't overrepresent a demographic of high or low G.P.A. students. So we couldn't focus on first year students, because they haven't taken enough courses to get a good representation of their G.P.A. And we also couldn't just go to random classrooms and pick our samples, because we would be underrepresenting the population of girls that don't go to class. Also, we couldn't just advertise for girls to come in, because the girls that are most likely to respond are those that are comfortable with their physical attractiveness or those that are more serious about their studies and so want to be more involved in experiments. So the sampling technique in this study would have to be very creative in order to get a sample representative of the population.
The problem with this study is that there probably isn't any background literature on it. But I haven't checked PsychINFO yet, so I don't know.
So I figured that maybe I could investigate a broader issue - perhaps one where more literature has been printed on it. So I figured I could measure the correlation between the professional life and the personal/social life of single adults. The problem with this, I suppose, is how to operationally define my variables. How do I measure "professional life"? Do I measure income? time spent at work? or just the type of job they have? And how do I measure "personal/social life"? Do I measure the time spent in recreational activities? What kind of recreational activities? Clubbing? Exercising? Attending sporting events? Or do I measure how many dates a person has been on in the past year, or if they're in a relationship and if they are, is it long term and how long?
I guess what I could do is go onto PsychINFO and find studies that have measured similar variables. But then how would I know my measures are valid? Afterall, "professional life" and "personal/social life" are very vague terms.
. . . ... I've been spending way too much time on PsychINFO and studying.
i've realized that this blog has become more of a place to showcase my favorite songs and music videos ... i haven't really posted anything about me or my life recently ... and that's just as well - life's going way to fast to stop and write about it
tho it helps once in a while to stop and reflect ... especially to get everything written down in a logical format so that life makes more sense to me instead of becoming one big blur
i've been thinking again lately ... which is usually bad news ... i think it's the weather ... the summer heat always changes things ... and right now, i feel out of my head - pun intended ... something about that music video i find so cool ... like, the very few times i actually went out during the fall ... or even the summer before that ... just the "night life" ... or for that matter, any life at all ... i'm really missing that right now ... which is ironic cuz i was so resistant to it during the fall ... ya know - being so wrapped up and absorbed in my studies ... i was lucky to ever go out at all - the clubs, the concerts, the parties, the people, etc. ... but i only took that for granted then ... now ... i'm still getting a lot of that ... especially last week, but now i'm appreciating it more ...
... i dunno what i'm trying to say ... life is good ... some stuff is missing, but ... there's no monkey bone in the works, so that's good ... kinda worried about the upcoming fall semester tho ... i'm thinking of taking 5 courses, but i dunno if i should ... might be too much for me, but i'm tempted ... but if i do, that means no more fun for rey ...
... speaking of which, i should stop having fun right now ... i'm already behind in my readings ... so i better start getting focused ... ... anyways, i don't really have much to write right now ... juss wanted to post something up ... and to change my showcase music video <- good song, great video <3 Mobile
Wednesday, March 29, 2006 ::: this is no humble prayer
all of you guys know that i am probably the least religious out of all of you ... some of you might even consider me anti-religion ... so it may surprise you that i posted this up
sometimes, things happen to us or to people that we know ... usually, the lucky ones only have to deal w/ petty troubles ... still others, have to deal w/ some issues that most of us would prefer to ignore ... ... and altho we might really really want to help, sometimes there really is absolutely nothing we can do ...
... so when we are beyond the domain of man's effect, we appeal to the power of a higher being ... some may call this a weakness - a defence mechanism to believe that everything will work out in the end ... some may call this naive ... still, sometimes this is the only thing we can do
so for those that read this, please share in my prayer
for the victims of gun violence
for the victims of child abuse
for the victims of rape
for the souls of aborted babies
and the mothers that feel they cannot have them
for kids living on the street
and for kids on their way there
for drug users and abusers
for kids that have lost their way
for kids with clinical illnesses
for patients with cancer
for patients with aids
for the old and venerable
for the poor and diseased
for the candidates of euthanasia
for the people we've lost
for the people we're about to lose
for the hated and misunderstood
for the parents that try
for the kids of parents that don't
for all those suffering, that they may be relieved from their pains
and for those that cause suffering, may God grant them the clemency they don't deserve
for this we pray
--- there is evil and wickedness out there, my personal prayer is that they may burn in all layers of hell and be spit back out to endure a lifetime of suffering that they've inflicted
Saturday, March 04, 2006 ::: Boulevard of Broken Songs
Billie Joe Amrstrong: I walk a lonely road The only one that I have ever known Don’t know where it goes But it's home to me and I walk alone
Liam Gallagher: Today is gonna be the day That they're gonna throw it back to you
BJA: I walk this empty street On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams Where the city sleeps And I'm the only one and I walk alone
LG (BJA): By now you should've somehow Realized what you gotta do (I walk alone, I walk alone) I don't believe that anybody Feels the way I do about you now (I walk alone, I walk alone)
BJA: My shadow's the only one that walks beside me My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me 'Til then I walk alone
Fran Healy: Every day I wake up and it's Sunday Whatever's in my head won't go away The radio is playing all the usual And what's a wonderwall anyway
LG: Backbeat the word is on the street That the fire in your heart is out I'm sure you've heard it all before But you never really had a doubt I don't believe that anybody feels The way I do about you now
BJA: I'm walking down the line That divides me somewhere in my mind On the border line Of the edge and where I walk alone
LG: Today is gonna be the day That they're gonna throw it back to you
BJA: Read between the lines What's fucked up and everything's alright Check my vital signs To know I'm still alive and I walk alone
LG (BJA): Today is gonna be the day That they're gonna throw it back to you (I walk alone, I walk alone) By now you should've somehow Realized what you gotta do (I walk alone, I walk alone)
LG: And all the roads we have to walk are winding And all the lights that lead us there are blinding There are many things that I would Like to say to you But I don't know how
BJA: I walk this empty street On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
LG: Today is gonna be the day That they're gonna throw it back to you
BJA: I walk this empty street On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
LG: By now you should've somehow Realized what you gotta do
BJA: Where the city sleeps and I'm the only one and I walk alone
BJA (LG): (Because maybe) My shadow's the only one that walks beside me (You're gonna be the one that saves me) My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating (You're gonna be the one that saves me) Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me (You're gonna be the one that saves me) 'Til then I walk alone
T - 6.5 hours until i officially hit the big 2-0... and i'm still not sure where i'm at
Perfect Situation (Weezer)
What's the deal With my brain? Why am I so obviously insane? In a perfect situation I let love down the drain There's the pitch Slow and straight All I have to do is swing and I'm a hero But I'm a zero
Hungry nights Once again Now it's getting unbelievable 'Cause I could not have it better But I just can't get no play From the girls All around As they search the night for someone to hold onto And just pass through
Singin oh-oh, oh-oh, ohhhh-hoooo
Singin oh-oh, oh-oh, ohhhh-hoooo
Get your hands Off the girl Can't you see that she belongs to me? And I don't appreciate this Excess company Though I can't Satisfy All the needs she has and so she starts to wander Can you blame her?
Singin oh-oh, oh-oh, ohhhh-hoooo
Singin oh-oh, oh-oh, ohhhh-hoooo
Tell me there's a logic out there Leading me to better prepare For the day that something really special might come Tell me there's some hope for me I don't wanna be lonely For the rest of my days on the earth
